Growing up, and even sometimes now, I make the classic mistake many of us often make: I assume. Have you ever assumed? My assumptions are based on my own personality and my own experience. “How is it possible not to like frequent hugs? Why would anyone choose a gift from his or her special someone over several hours of focused attention?” Because we have our preferred ways of giving and receiving love, we tend to think other people prefer to be loved in the same manner. “I love gifts, so I will shower him with gifts!” .... “Why is he not so excited about all my gifts?” “I appreciate all her … [Read more...]
Are You Ready to Rumble?!?! (Book Review, Saving Your Marriage Before it Starts, Part 3)
Sometimes, I think God only allows us to feel the ecstasy of new love so we'll want to get married and populate the Earth. After all, if we knew beforehand how much time and effort we’d be putting into conflict resolution, would any of us get married? ~smile~ Whether we like it or not, conflict is a part of life. Some enjoy conflict, even creating it where it doesn't naturally exist. Others tolerate it well and some people hate every part of it. If you enjoy fighting, that could spell trouble. If you avoid conflict when it's necessary, that will cause problems later in your relationship. … [Read more...]
Would You Like to Know the Secret to Marital Happiness? (Book Review, Saving Your Marriage Before it Starts, Part 2)
The Right Altitude and Attitude At the beginning of the third chapter, “Have You Developed the Habit of Happiness?,” Les and Leslie recall a terrifying, yet beautiful flight over the Cascade Mountains in a small, rickety plane. The pilot, not realizing he was about to give them an amazing metaphor for marriage, said, "The trick is to get the right altitude in spite of atmospheric conditions." He was talking about the trick for a good landing, but the Parrotts gave that quote a different meaning. The trick to a good marriage is having the right attitude in spite of the circumstances going on … [Read more...]
Do You Have Misunderstood Expectations? (Book Review, Saving Your Marriage Before it Starts, Part 1)
If you're a faithful PreEngaged reader, you will have noticed that I've been doing a lot of reading and book reviews lately! I'll probably take a little break from hitting the books as hard for a short while, but I am glad I ended my whirlwind book tour with Saving Your Marriage Before it Starts by Les and Leslie Parrott. Though it seems like any couple who shares the same first name would have an easy time transitioning from courtship to marriage, like the rest of us, Les and Leslie had their share of growing pains. Thankfully, they have taken the benefit of their newlywed mistakes, paired … [Read more...]
8 Suggestions to Consider While Recovering from a Break Up (Breaking Up is Hard To Do, Part 3)
This week, we are helping couples work through whether they should break up, whether they should get back together, and how to recover after a break up. Please “like” and share these posts with your friends and family so we may be able to help them too. Thank you! "He didn't deserve you." "She was just a chick." "You are so much better off without that jerk." "She was not worth your time." Friends try so hard to help us when our hearts are broken. They mean well, but in the beginning when our hearts are raw, we don't necessarily want to hear trash talk about the man or woman we still love … [Read more...]
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