Since Gary Chapman released his book, The Five Love Languages, in 1995, thousands of people are now able to identify their primary love language – that is, how they most prefer to give and receive love. Some people feel most loved when they are touched or embraced. Others when their special someone does a chore for them or simply spends time with them. Some light up when their significant other hands them an unexpected gift or words of affirmation. And though encouragement is a loving behavior, it brings about a different effect than receiving love. Love nurtures; whereas, encouragement … [Read more...]
Five Ways Discouragement Defeats Your Sweetie
Eric used to love sharing his new ideas with me. He would come home from work and immediately start detailing his latest and greatest brainstorm; but, as he was unloading his exciting new idea, I was boiling on the inside. “Another new idea he’s going to want me to carry out? I can’t handle it! Too much pressure! I’m about to explode!” So, as an unconscious means to keep us from placing too many irons in the fire (and as a way to protect myself from being hurled miles outside of my comfort zone), I would immediately begin discouraging his proposals. It took me a while to realize that while … [Read more...]
Discussing Together What You Should Ingest
Donuts for breakfast or a balanced meal with eggs, toast, and juice? A cigarette to relax after a hard day? A glass of wine? Aleve for that nagging headache – or just some water and a nap? These are some questions which may seem unimportant before marriage but may, in fact, cause endless conflicts in your day-to-day life if you and you future spouse disagree. Some of you don’t even need to think about or discuss the role of certain substances in your home. If you are convinced alcohol in any form is wrong, you probably won’t marry someone who does not share your views. If you do, … [Read more...]
What Experiences are Taxing Your Relationship?
In America, it is Tax Day! Not the happiest day of the year, right? If you received a handsome refund, you may be happy you have a bit more extra in your pocket. If you owe more in taxes, you may be twitching and grumbling. At any rate, this day comes every year whether we like it or not. So, If you are an American and have not yet filed your taxes for the year, get them done today or file an extension quickly! ~smile~ Many of us cringe at the thought of paying taxes. Taxes on our food, taxes on our fun, taxes on our income, and (in some places) taxes on possessions we already own. We … [Read more...]
Why You Should Keep Some Secrets Sacred in Your Relationship
Inside jokes, whispering, laughing together – having secrets between you and your sweetheart is part of the fun of being in an emotionally intimate relationship. There is something special that bonds two people who share secrets. This is part of the reason I believe married couples should keep the details of their bedroom activities to themselves (unless they are seeking the advice of a therapist). When Eric and I were newly married, I felt compelled to share countless details about our life with others as I am the less reserved one in our marriage. He probably thinks I blab too much even … [Read more...]
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