This afternoon is one of my favorite kinds of afternoons. There are soft rumbles of thunder in the air and rain is falling softly outside. Sitting on the bed with the laptop in my lap, I feel the urge to turn off all sounds in the house and enjoy the gentle sounds of the rain. Listening to the drops fall, I think about the goodness of God. After He made His creation, He said that it was “good.” (Genesis 1:31) Whatever He does is always good though it may not always seem as such at the time; however, no matter what trials we encounter, He is still good… because goodness defines who God is.
Lately, I’ve enjoyed watching a number of documentaries about singers and movie stars because I am fascinated with people and how they arrive at certain stages in their lives. Interestingly, almost every character I’ve studied has been described as good: “He is a good man” or “She has a good heart.” No matter how many mistakes they’ve made or how many poor decisions they continue to make, the world continually describes them as a good people. Yet, according to Scripture, are they really good? Are we good? (Psalm 14:2-3) The Bible makes it clear that in our normal, human state, we are not good. (Romans 3:10)
So, what exactly is goodness? Is it simply being good as the world and culture defines it? Is it like patience, kindness, or gentleness? Is it a combination of all the attributes listed in Galatians 5:22 or does it stand on its own? The Greek word for goodness in this passage is agathosune, meaning, “virtue, beneficence, or uprightness of heart” – or as my husband would say, “consistency in righteousness.”
As Romans 3:10 states, no one is righteous and Isaiah 64:6 tells us that our attempts at righteousness on our own power are like as filthy rags (literally: used menstrual cloths). So, we see that a person cannot possess inherent goodness without Christ having first regenerated that person along with the power of the Holy Spirit working in that person’s life. We can give to charities, move to India and nurse orphans, give blood every week, and build a thousand houses for needy families, yet we will never be good apart from Christ and His redeeming work on the cross.
So, what’s so important about goodness? Why is it important for your future spouse to possess the fruit of goodness? Moral excellence is an essential attribute to find in a spouse. When someone is virtuous, he or she won’t be pursuing affairs or engaging in other damaging behavior that will affect your life and the life of your future children. Someone who does not agree with biblical morals and virtues as being of an utmost importance, or makes fun of those who do, is not the type of person that can be trusted in a marriage relationship. If someone justifies stealing, don’t assume that they would never consider cheating on you.
People with goodness in their life show “uprightness of heart” in all areas of their lives. This is not to say that people don’t occasionally stumble in sin or make mistakes; however, those with strong moral character and the leading of the Holy Spirit will quickly repent and change his or her behavior. Additionally, those with no concern for moral uprightness are showing that they do not possess the fruit of the Spirit. If he or she has no convictions or regret about stealing, looking at sexually driven movies or pictures, or other moral failures, there is no reason to believe that he or she will strive after goodness in your marriage.
Those with the fruit of goodness showing in their lives will desire good things. They will no longer pursue evil or sin and will stop enjoying the things of this world. They will start loving the things that God loves and hating the things that God hates. Their lives will be described as “virtuous,” which means they pursue moral excellence and righteousness. (Ephesians 5:8-11) Goodness in people will be obvious because they will detest evil, and not only that, but they will expose evil in the world. We might think of someone filled with goodness as someone who is a goody toe shoes, who would rather die than upset someone. But, according to the passage above, those with the goodness of God in them will not only desire to stay away from ungodly things, but they will also not stay silent when they see ungodliness at work in others. They’re not looking to condemn others, but they want others to turn away from their sin because it’s both an affront to Christ and it hurts the person who is sinning (Romans 6:23).
Not to be preachy, but several verses that have struck me are I John 1:5-7, and particularly verse 6 (comments of mine in {italicized braces}): “If we say that we have fellowship with Him {where we call ourselves a Christian} and yet walk {the Greek word here for ‘walk’ used refers to a regular style of living} in the darkness {meaning, we continue to keep on sinning}, we lie {meaning that we are not telling the truth when we call ourselves a Christian – meaning, regardless of whether we consider ourselves a Christian… if we’re not walking in righteousness and goodness as a normal style of living, then that person is not a Christian – according to the Bible} and do not practice the truth {that person does not abide by Jesus’ words, teachings, or commandments}” (NAS). This has everything to do with goodness.
Is there evidence of goodness and moral uprightness flowing out of your life and your future spouse’s life? When others see your actions, do they see virtue? When engaging in actions forbidden by God’s Word, do you and your future spouse experience conviction and regret? All too often people see Christ followers as legalistic because they are pursuing righteousness; however, striving to live a life that will glorify God is not legalism, it is obedience. Discuss your life, and your relationship, with your boyfriend or girlfriend. Does he or she see goodness in your life, and in your relationship? Ask each other for examples. If there are doubts about one or both of you in this area, I would not recommend engagement until your doubts have dissolved.
Do you consider yourself to be a good person? What standard are you using?
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