Have you ever had someone say something so precious to you that you wanted to make sure you never forgot a word of it? Several weeks back, Eric and I were having a conversation with my brother-in-law, David, and my sister-in-law, Vanessa. In the midst of our conversation, David said that Vanessa was the best thing that happened to people without them even realizing it. I’m sure I didn’t get that quote exactly right, but as soon as he said it, Vanessa was floored. It was such a sweet and powerful statement. Even when we know someone loves us, it’s so reassuring and emotionally healing to hear him or her tell us something specific that makes us special.
After he said it, Eric and I both exclaimed, “Write it down!” Why did we think it was important to write it down? Well, just a few sentences above, I wrote “I’m sure I didn’t get that quote exactly right.” As humans, we tend to forget details. We let sweet words go in one ear and out the other.
Comments that build us up are very good for us. True compliments, as opposed to false flattery, remind us that we have value, something to offer the world, and that we bring something special to the people in our lives. One undesirable aspect of our human nature is that we tend to remember the negative comments people make about us while the good comments fade into the recesses of our minds. In marriage, there will be some negative statements. Hopefully those negative comments won’t outweigh the positive (and both partners should make it a point to overemphasize the positive and approach the negative calmly, rationally, and with a loving motivation); but, one way to combat your own mind when it tells you that your special someone only has negative feelings toward you is to write down, word for word, the nice comments he or she makes about you.
One day, Eric told me that he looked in the closet and saw all of his clean work shirts hanging nicely in a row and thought about how blessed he was to have me as his wife. Again, that quote isn’t exactly right. But, if I had a journal specifically earmarked for writing down sweet moments and statements made between Eric and me, I would have been able to preserve that moment. It melted my heart and made me want to continue to be a blessing to him. Knowing he feels blessed to have me as his wife makes me never want to stop being a blessing. I want him to feel that way for the rest of his life! ~smile~
Marriage was created to be good (Genesis 2:18), but (like many blessings) it comes with its share of challenges. As life gets busy, you and your honey may not share as many lovey dovey exchanges as you previously did in your courtship or early marriage – so, it will be important to have a reminder of those moments. Keep a journal of the sweet experiences (maybe recording a sweet statement, a special date, or a surprise gift) you and your sweetheart share. One day when you are struggling to keep your chin up – or, if you are going through a rough patch in your relationship – you can refer back to your journal as a reminder of your good times together and a reminder of what your lady or gentleman loves about you.