A fun “getting to know you” question to ask your date, boyfriend/girlfriend, or fiancé/fiancée is this: “What would you do if you suddenly had ten million dollars?” The way a person spends his or her money can tell you a lot about his or her character; but, it is also fun to consider what you really would do with that kind of money.
If I had ten million dollars, I would tithe to God (by definition of the word “tithe”, that would be ten percent). After that, I’d have some serious fun. My idea of serious fun is buying and giving gifts.
First of all, I would probably take a million or two and put it aside for my parent’s retirement with enough extra to buy them several car/truck replacements (my dad loves to ride through the Chevy dealer lot and look at trucks for fun).
After that I would probably invest 2-3 million, put a million in an emergency fund, and buy a new car. With the few million remaining I would probably start buying fun gifts for people like it was going out of style. Instead of Bath and Body Works lotions and sprays, I could buy my friends cars and vacations. Oh yes, it is a fantasy indeed! I seriously love shopping for gifts!
On the other hand, if Eric had to answer this question, I imagine he would be a bit more responsible. He’d save more and probably contemplate the gifts he bought more carefully than I would. He would probably consider the eternal value of his gifts and give a lot more money to a mission’s organizations and evangelistic efforts. He might not have as much fun as I would, but he would be deeply satisfied with how he spent His money.
{Eric’s note: I would likely give to charity organizations I believed in as well as set up an endowment for student entrepreneurs with specific qualifications. I would definitely purchase some investments (real estate and mutual funds) as well as set aside a defined portion of money from which to give gifts. I would definitely give, but wouldn’t go as crazy as my lovely bride in that area. ~smile~
One of my favorite ideas for responsible giving is to give a percentage (up to 100%) of someone’s salary per month to them. So, whatever they make (if the percentage is 100%), I would match it (effectively doubling their income). That way, they couldn’t bum around on a single large windfall and do nothing with their lives (often people like that go bankrupt). I would want the gift to be a blessing, not something which would unravel their productivity in life as a member of society. I’d also set aside a portion of money to blow and with which to have fun.}
When I was waiting for my knight in shining armor to come along, I desired someone who knew the value of a dollar and spent it responsibly. My parents were both fairly conservative with money. (Okay, my mom was ultra conservative and my dad was fairly conservative. ~smile~) We went on small vacations, we ate out at reasonably priced restaurants, and there was plenty under the tree for Christmas, but it was never over the top (and, if it wasn’t Christmas or my birthday, I didn’t expect to get new toys).
When I was old enough to have a checking account, but too young to live on my own, I was given a certain amount of money per month for clothes, and if I ran out, that was just too bad! The truth of the matter is I didn’t run out of clothing money because I learned to pace myself and buy what I needed when I needed it – otherwise, I knew that I would have to go out and earn it myself if I wanted better items or more items.
As you may be able to tell, I deeply appreciate the lessons my parents taught me about money. Because of my monetary upbringing, I would not have been comfortable marrying someone who did not budget, plan for the future, and save. Even though I love to give gifts, I do feel safe within the confines of a well thought out budget. Shopping would not be nearly as fun for me if I didn’t know how much I could reasonably spend. Eric turned out to be just the type of guy I had in mind. He is not afraid to spend money (he’s probably more of a spender at heart than I am {Eric’s note: ‘tis true!}), but he budgets and plans ahead for those expenditures. Because he budgets and considers the future, he helps me to feel more comfortable spending money.
Before getting married, pose the ten million dollar question. What would you do if you had ten million dollars? It’s a fun scenario to consider and it will give you a glimpse into your boyfriend/girlfriend’s character.
Look for qualities that are important to you. If spontaneity is important to you, notice if he or she plans to do anything exciting or out of the ordinary with the money. If you prefer to save, save, and save some more, notice if he or she has plans to save a good portion of the money. If you are a generous giver, be sure to notice if he or she would give some of the money to a worthwhile cause.
Though I don’t expect anyone to make a marital decision based on this one question alone, it is a good question to add to a list of questions (e.g., Where do you want to be in ten years?) to ask each other before becoming engaged or getting married.
So, get some coffee (or your beverage of choice) and grab a notepad and have fun writing down what you and your sweetie would do if you each had ten million dollars! (Hint: cheap date night activity!)
What traits are you looking for in a spouse regarding the gaining and spending of money?
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