When Eric and I were just college buddies, I drove my friends crazy talking about him. Even though he had made it clear that he was not pursuing me and that we were only friends, I still found myself wondering if we would ever become a couple. Apparently, it was on my mind a lot as one of my college friends said I talked about the possibility constantly. ~smile~
I can remember praying constantly too. I am the type of person who can take a hint. In fact, I will create hints that do not exist. If I think even for a second that I am not wanted some place, I will hit the road. So, it still amazes me that I even held out hope for a guy friend who was so bold as to explicitly tell me he was not interested (and I did not ask… he was being gentlemanly and just wanted to make sure he was not leading me on at the time).
By the time he did “see the light” (as I like to call it), I was prayed up. God gave me such an amazing assurance that this was my last dating relationship. The waiting was hard, though. I remember! So if you are in that stage where you are more than friends, but before engagement, or you are more than friends but you are praying to see if God would have you marry this person, consider the following ideas for prayer.
Turn off the Distractions
Turn off the TV and the computer and the cell phone and the iPad and anything else that distracts you and settle in for some extended prayer time. Sing worship to God. Thank Him for His blessings, His sacrifice, and His presence in your life. Just praise Him a while because He is God and He is worthy! ~smile~ Then, pour out your heart to Him about your desires and concerns of your relationship.
As much as I enjoy settling into bed and enjoying a show on television or on my computer, I find that having television on all the time is a huge distraction to my prayer life. When I am in silence, I tend to pray more. Plus, much entertainment today is filled with ungodliness. Even if the show you are watching is completely clean and God-honoring, the commercials and previews often are not – and the more we fill our heads with ideas that do not line up with Scripture, the more numb we become to God’s will. I have considered taking {a|this} week or so off from television as a fast to spend more time in prayer. Will you consider it too?
Prepare Your Environment to Have no Distractions
When you plan to seek the Lord about whether or not to pursue this relationship, create an environment that is calm and distraction-free. If you live in a college dorm, I can completely understand how hard this is!
The shower can make a great prayer closet. You can also get in your car and find a nice, safe country or back road and pray as you drive. A friend of mine has even rented a cabin for a few days to devote herself to prayer.
Clean Your Heart Out
This is a big one! Before going to God in prayer, search your heart and ask Him to reveal any sin for which you have not repented. Gossip, disobedience, sexual sins – make sure you repent before seeking Him.
Sin in our hearts separates us from God, so spend some time searching your heart and ask Him to forgive and cleanse you. We all need to do this even if we do not have a big decision looming! ~smile~
It’s important to be specific as we request forgiveness from Him. Imagine if someone came to you and said, “I’m sorry for what I’ve done to you. Will you forgive me?” Wouldn’t you want to know for what issue they were asking forgiveness? Why should God be any different?
Pray for Direction
Ask God to open and close opportunities and relationships. Ask Him to give you assurance you are in the right relationship through people, circumstances, and most of all through peace of mind. He can do that for you!
When Eric and I were at the very beginning of our courtship, my dad walked into the kitchen one night and randomly said, “You’ll be married by this time next year.” It caught me off guard, but he was right! I had such a peace about moving forward with Eric. In previous relationships, I had wrestled constantly with this nagging feeling that something was not right. Like the Holy Spirit was telling me “No!” and I knew I was not going to feel at ease until I obeyed and left the relationship.
I’ve had bad dreams, knots in my stomach, and frustrating prayer times during past relationships, but not with Eric. There was a peace I could not explain and a feeling of having known Eric forever… like we were already family.
As you pray for direction, also pray that God will give you strength to walk away from the relationship if that is what He desires. If He does, it is only because He has something or someone else better for your life and you won’t regret obeying Him… at least not in the long run.
As you are praying for God’s direction ask a few others you trust to join you in prayer. It never hurts to have several people lifting you up. Marriage is a big deal, but I believe you can go into it with a calm assurance. And feel free to contact us if you would like us to help you pray!
Additionally, you can also sign up for our Free E-mail Course: Beyond You’ll Just Know”: 7 Indicators You May Have Found the One! below to help you on your deciding journey.
Have you been praying about whether or not to pursue a relationship with someone?